Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Oliver Miller arrested for assault at a barbecue



Oliver Miller allegedly pistol-whipped a man at a barbecue in Edgewater, Maryland. "According to the report, Miller is being charged with first and second degree assault, reckless endangerment, having a handgun on person, using a handgun in a violent crime, possessing a handgun in a vehicle, disorderly conduct and other related charges."

  This one is too easy. Obviously someone snagged the last burger, and everyone knows the Big O gets the first and last burger at every barbecue he attends. The other guy got what he deserved. If you let one guy steal your food in mid- April, come summertime everyone will take your shit right off the grill, like you're some kind of barbecue bitch. Miller knows this, and pistol whipping someone is the best form of assault, so I applaud Miller for this move.
  But the real question is: does Miller have a freakishly small head or would everyone's head look that small if they weighed 600lbs?

No comments:

Post a Comment